


The Unwanted Gift of Tongues (and Otter Headaches)

by Icon_UK



Category: New Mutants (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:14:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22470886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icon_UK/pseuds/Icon_UK
Summary: All those mutants living on Krakoa was bound to create some headaches, some more literal than others.Slightly silly, but why the heck not?
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	The Unwanted Gift of Tongues (and Otter Headaches)

In an effort to get back into the swing of things on Krakoa, David “Prodigy” Alleyne and Ashida “Surge” Noriko regularly had breakfast together at one of the islands many dining areas. Just to chat, and gossip and be sounding boards for each other, switching casually between English, Japanese and Krakoan as the mood took them.

It was normally fun, but this morning was not going so well.

“Oh GOD! Not again!” Prodigy clutched his temples and doubled over. “Verdamnt! Velnias! Demethi!”

Surge looked over the café’s table, instantly concerned. “You okay David? Well, clearly not, but what is it? Migraine? Can I get you anything? I can find one of those analgesic bushes in a second and a half.”

“No… thanks Nori. It’s not a migraine it’s worse, MUCH worse…”

“And I didn’t know you spoke.. whatever that was.”

“German, Lithuanian and probably Xhosa, and no, I didn’t, that’s the problem I’ve just been Cypher’d AGAIN!”

“What?”

“Do me a favour, look out the window and see if you can see Cypher. Blond guy, human looking but with some sort of mechanical right arm and a gold jacket that redefines both dubious fashion choices AND hi-visibility”

“He’s on the Council David, I know what he looks like.” Surge looked out the window and did indeed see a figure matching that description (especially the jacket) walking away. Cypher was deep in conversation with Mirage and two other mutants she didn’t recognise. He was saying something that caused Mirage to raise her arms exasperatedly and the other two to break into laughter.

“Looks like it.”

“I HATE that guy!.”

“What? Why? I thought he’d be your type.”

“Him? Why? And what have I said about matchmaking? You’re my ex, it’s weird”

“Yes, but I’m still your friend, and so it’s my job to torment you. Let’s see… he’s blond, good looking in a vanilla sort of a way, plus a bit alien, what with that arm …” She matched the look he gave her, “…we all know about you and Hulkling that time.“

David blushed at that “I mean, okay, yeah …”

“Plus everyone knows that he invented Krakoan, and is on the Council and everything, and from I hear about him and his “selfsoulfriend” Warlock he might be interested… You could do worse…”

“So could he” David replied confidently and enjoyed seeing her expression a little more than he should. “Sure, sure, plus the whole “dying heroically” thing, back before everyone was doing it. I know, but believe me when I say that he’d be more of a headache than he’s worth.”

“Clearly”

“Yeah, I meant that literally. You see every time he comes near me, my power kicks in and force feeds me half a dozen new languages in five seconds flat, whether I like it or not, and that guy knows THOUSANDS of languages.”

“Don’t you have that problem with pretty much everyone?”

“Not really. Normally I’m not focussing my power, so I don’t pick up anything. With some people they have a lot of information near the top of their mind, so I have to be careful near people like Beast, but it’s not a big deal. Even Forge wasn’t THAT big a problem. Cypher though… I guess there’s just something about the way our powers interact. My subconscious is always scanning for information at some level and his subconscious is positively overflowing with languages, and when they synch up, I can’t stop my power from pulling out whatever it can latch on to like a vacuum cleaner.”

“I mean, let me check what I’ve got now.” His brow furrowed and he concentrated. “Oh this was a doozy, I’ve got another SEVEN… Let’s see... an Indigenous dialect from Australia… Latverian Sign Language… High-Court Kymellian (And I don’t even have hooves)… Norwegian … some weird alien dance-based language that can’t be spoken so I can’t name without looking like a Rockette having an aneurysm… 4th Century Coptic, oh and… oh God… Basic Otter.”

“Otter? Like the cute little animals?”

“No, BASIC Otter, but yes, like the cute little animals”

“BASIC otter? Like…wait.. is there an ADVANCED otter?”

“I guess so... it’s not something I’ve ever had to think about before, and it’s not something I ever wanted to think about.”

“But at least you speak it now. Wait, are there even otters on Krakoa?”

“Haven’t a clue, maybe I should holler out a window and see if I get any replies”

“Cypher probably would” she grinned as she dodged the cushion he threw at her. “But there are probably a good few Norwegian mutants somewhere out there, and maybe even a hard-of-hearing Latverian?”

“True,”

“And they might be good looking!”

“I told you to stop that… and I didn’t say it wasn’t _occasionally_ useful. I mean I can just add them all to my resumé even if I never use them, but I’d prefer it to be something I’d actually ASKED for… and that it didn’t feel like it was being slammed into my brain with a bolt gun on rapid fire.”

“Maybe Forge can make you something to block him out?”

“I thought of that, and I’ve got a lot of Forge’s knowledge Most of the things he developed cancelled out mutant powers completely, he never managed to create something which nullified bits of them and I can’t think of any way to either.”

“The telepaths?”

“Sure, I mean, maybe the White Queen or the Cuckoo’s can help? But are we supposed to damp our powers down on Krakoa? We’re supposed to embrace them here, aren’t we?”

“I don’t think that’s supposed to extend to masochism.”

“Have you MET the White Queen? Or the Cuckoo’s come to that?”

“Fair point. But what’s the alternative?”

“I could try to avoid our resident linguist, or hope that he runs out of languages. “

“There might be another way, but it’s kinda ironic.”

“Which is..?”

“You need to talk to Krakoa, and see if he can help… and to do that…”

“Sigh… I need to talk to our resident linguist, don’t I?”

“Yup!”

* * *

Nori and David stood on the edge of a clearing that one of Krakoa’s standing stones occupied. It looked like, as all the other did, a crude stone plinth with Krakoa’s face on it, the carved beard overgrown with flowering vines,

Cypher was seated on a sort of hammock the vines had formed for him, and was talking in a weird multi-tonal honking rumble that sounded like a tractor trying to impersonate a duck (or vice versa), and the plinth was replying in kind.

Nori zipped over first, apologised for interrupting, and explained the situation

David hadn’t expected Latverian Sign Language to be useful quite so soon, but it was the first sign language that came to mind, and seemed the easiest way to communicate at a distance without shouting, or having Nori carry notes between them, which even at her superspeed would have been less effective.

After a few minutes, which included Cypher apologising profusely for not having realised (LSL apologising included a lot of invoking forgiveness in the name of Von Doom, which was weird, but probably inevitable), and David reassuring him that he knew it wasn’t personal (but suspecting his body language didn’t quite sell that concept 100%).

Cypher spoke to Krakoa again… in a slightly different pitch. At the same time he signed that the nature of the language Krakoa spoke changed with the time of day, local temperature, air pressure and over a dozen other things.

David was now especially glad he hadn’t come closer, if acquiring Norwegian made him wish he were dead, accidentally learning base-Krakoan might literally have killed him.

There was silence for a few moments and then Krakoa spoke again..

Cypher turned and smiled at David, giving a thumbs up before signing again “He thinks he can help, praise Doom! We’ll need to run a few tests, but I’ll stand well back for those.”

….

A couple of days later, when Nori reached their breakfast rendevouz, she had to stifle a smile.

David was looking ever so slightly embarrassed, but she had to admit that the, clearly Krakoan, flower-crown he was wearing was rather fetching

“Hey, you have your gauntlets, I now have…this.”

“And other than giving you that hippy-chic look we know you’ve always wanted, what DOES it do?

“It’s Krakoan agri-tech so it’s not my speciality”

Nori raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, not YET… Anyway, the pollen acts like a sort of psychic chaff. As long as I’m wearing it my powers won’t mesh with Cypher’s even if he were standing next to me. Which he isn’t. Which I’m VERY glad about because, yes he IS cute, but that guy will not SHUT UP! And the puns, dear god the puns..”

“Bad?”

“In thirty three different languages.”

His expression shifted a little

“To be fair to golden boy, he _did_ ask Krakoa if there was something that he could wear instead so it wasn’t all on me, but apparently it’s my power that’s the trigger, not his, so it wouldn’t work that way. “

“The colour suits you better anyway.”

“Krakoa was also concerned about my power picking up things from his mind, but Cypher pointed out that since Krakoa is literally everywhere, and I’ve been here for weeks without picking up anything from him, I probably can’t, he’s too alien“

“That’s sort of a relief. “

“For me too”

“By the way, I did some checking and I’m sorry to say there aren’t any otters on Krakoa. If there ever were any, it probably ate them centuries ago”

“Well, I’ll sleep better knowing that.”

“Buuuut…. I _also_ discovered that there’s a girl, living over in the Grove, and she’s not only stunning, she can turn INTO an otter!”

“She’s a…” he sought a word and Latin popped into his head “Lutrinaemorph?”

“If you say so. I mean it’s the only thing she can become, like Sinclair and her wolf form.”

“But I’m not into otter’s Nori. I’m bi, not… whatever that would make me…”

“Freaky? Yes, I know, but think how impressed she’d be to have someone who can talk to her in her otter form!”

“Does SHE speak otter in otter form?”

“No idea, but that’s even better… you can TEACH her. And I didn’t tell you the best part…. She’s NORWEGIAN! It’s like Fate!”

David sighed and let his head sink into his hands… He wondered if there was a way to modify the flower crown to _un_ learn languages.

**Author's Note:**

> This originates in, of all things, and entry in the old Marvel Superheroes RPG, where they had to come up with a way to define Cypher’s powers as playable, and one of the languages they mentioned was “Basic Otter”, as outlined here.
> 
> https://iconuk01.tumblr.com/post/120292011959/the-special-entry-created-to-cover-doug-ramseys
> 
> Plus I’d always wondered how Prodigy’s powers of knowledge accumulation might work in conjunction with Cypher’s language acquisition power, and Krakoa seems an interesting place to find out.


End file.
